You hear this all the time in BDSM circles, especially as a newbie. “Don’t fall in love with your first dom.” Ridiculous! For one thing, you can’t help who you fall in love with, right? The heart wants what it wants. For another, love in any form is a beautiful thing to treasure. Your heart may get hurt, oh yes indeed, but that’s the case with any kind of relationship worth having. No risk, no reward. And love is a precious reward worth having even if it’s only temporary, even if the tears threaten to drown you if it goes away.
I fell in love with my first dom, and although I now have a vial filled with tears from when we finally broke up (and btw they’re not those magical pristine crystalline drops of Disney films; they’re real and muddied with mascara and face makeup), I don’t regret one minute of our time together. He opened me up in a way that no one else could. And yes, the pain when we broke up was infinitely worse than any whipping, flogging, or any other impact I ever took by his hand.
The suffering still lies in my heart all the time, waiting for some trigger to call it to the surface. But if I could go back in time, would I choose not to fall in love with him? Hell, no. It was worth it.
Love is always worth it.