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Basics, Consent

Caring Concern vs. Stalking

We’ve seen this scene countless times: the damsel in distress rescued at just the right moment by the dashing hero. And Christian rescues Ana more than once, “just happening” to be in the right place at exactly the right time. And it’s hot, right? Someone swooping in as the savior, taking responsibility for our safety. Except Ana half jokes repeatedly about Christian’s stalking tendencies. He’s constantly checking up on her. He tracks her cell phone. He had a private investigator dig up all kinds of confidential info on her. The list goes on. And in reality, that kind of behavior isn’t something to joke about; it can be a warning sign that someone might be seriously dangerous.

Listen to your instinct—or maybe to the people who care about you, if your instinct is hard to hear or follow—about whether your dominant man’s behavior seems like genuine concern for your well-being or overly controlling and stalkerish. It can be a fine line. And don’t hesitate to seek help from the police, friends, and family if his behavior crosses the line or doesn’t respect your personal boundaries. Don’t be concerned about being nice or hurting his feelings—you only need to read the news to know the tragic things that can happen to women targeted by stalkers. Please look out for yourself—better safe than sorry.

Your turn: How do you tell the difference between caring concern for your well-being and stalkerish behavior? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

 

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “Caring Concern vs. Stalking

  1. Stalkerish behavior would be someone/actions that are a little too overzealous. Someone/actions that are outside of the negotiated/discussed relationship paradigm. Examples can be, twice as many phone calls/texts/emails. Literally following you around wherever you go. Showing up at places that you will be at purely because you’re there and then sticking to you like glue.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by kmclove | September 28, 2014, 2:52 am
  2. Yup, thanks for adding that, kmclove!

    Like

    Posted by evievane | September 29, 2014, 3:39 pm

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