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5 Reasons to Try Rope Bondage — Whether You’re Kinky or Not

The author in consensual bondage. Photo by Michael Sundin Photo; ropework by -Mr-D-

The author in consensual bondage. Photo by Michael Sundin Photo; ropework by -Mr-D-

Forget hard-core kinky porn for a minute. You don’t need to be strung from the ceiling by a hook in your ass whimpering through a ball gag to get the benefits of rope bondage, in the bedroom or out of it. In fact, if your only exposure to bondage is through sadistic porn, you might not even know what the benefits of getting tied up more playfully are. Yes, there are very real benefits to rope bondage even for those who prefer wine and roses to whips and chains.

1. Rope can make sex even hotter. Certain tying techniques can stimulate erotic pressure points in the body, and the rope doesn’t even need to be super tight for it to happen. In other words, not much pain and a lot of gain. Also, many people experience lowered inhibitions when they’re tied up, not to mention feeling the added thrill of doing something “naughty.”

2. You can get an endorphin rush. Rope bondage and other kinds of BDSM play can cause the release of endorphins, which are chemicals the body produces in response to stress, among other things. Some are touted as being stronger than morphine. The body can also release oxytocin, a hormone that contributes to feelings of bonding, and dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in the feeling of reward. Call it a calorie-free, natural high.

3. Bondage is freeing. Yes, it sounds paradoxical, but being tied up and allowing yourself to surrender and feel helpless can be incredibly freeing. Think about how many decisions you make day in and day out, how much you’re responsible for. Wouldn’t it feel like a vacation to let someone else do all the thinking and all the work for once? (Always negotiate your intended rope play thoroughly with your partner beforehand, however, and agree on a safeword should you need to end the scene quickly.)

4. It can help you connect intimately. Rope isn’t generally a fetish object by itself; it’s a tool that people use to have certain experiences. And one of those experiences is commonly a real, intimate connection between partners, even if no sex is involved. You can feel closer to your partner after being tied up once than you would after a month of dinner dates. Trust me.

5. It can help you escape the everyday. Had a hard day at work or a spat with your kids? Fought back road rage on the drive home? Being tied up has a way of refocusing your attention on your body and away from the maddening mundanities of life. It helps you drop into the present moment — when you’re tethered to the bedpost wondering what your partner is going to do to you next, you’re not thinking about all those other little things that have been eating at you.

So you don’t have to be a huge masochist or even particularly kinky to reap the benefits of rope play. You should, however, research your partner carefully (ask about training and experience, and get references); negotiate thoroughly (search online for “BDSM negotiation checklist”); communicate openly (about injuries, triggers, and desires beforehand, and about any pain, numbness, tingling, lightheadedness, or other weird feelings during); and avoid getting tied up in an isolated setting with someone you don’t know well.

Hard-core porn-style bondage may never be your thing. But consider how lighter rope bondage could make you feel sexier, happier, freer, more connected, and more centered, and you’ll know why its fans are growing in number every day.

Resolved to try rope bondage in 2015? Start with the free instructional video series “How to Get Tied Up,” on YouTube’s Evie Vane channel. Even more videos to come this year!

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