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What to Change About Yourself to Attract Your Christian Grey

How many times have we heard, “Nobody’s perfect”? And as you embark on your quest for a dominant, it’s all too easy to feel like you don’t measure up to the other girls competing for doms’  affections. (Is it just me or does it seem like there are way more submissive women than dominant men?) Among the hordes … Continue reading

Real-Life Red Rooms

Christian’s Red Room (of pain/pleasure), as Ana calls it, is nicely outfitted with everything a girl could want for a kinky good time. But what if your dom can’t devote the space or a huge wad of cash to a room dedicated to kinky sex? Have no fear; it’s public and semi-public playspaces and dungeons to the … Continue reading

Caring Concern vs. Stalking

We’ve seen this scene countless times: the damsel in distress rescued at just the right moment by the dashing hero. And Christian rescues Ana more than once, “just happening” to be in the right place at exactly the right time. And it’s hot, right? Someone swooping in as the savior, taking responsibility for our safety. … Continue reading

Guest Post: FlamingJune on Sub Drop and Support

Evie and I were talking the other day, and she asked, “What are the top reasons people come to your group?” I have been running Submissive Safe Space (SSS), a discussion and support group for s-types in San Francisco, for the past four years. I thought of three topics off the top of my head … Continue reading

Dom, Sadist, Top, Daddy — What’s the Difference?

In the search for your own Christian Grey, you’ll no doubt run across a variety of types on the dom spectrum—and, as with most other character traits, most people aren’t purely one type. “Dom” is a broad term for anyone who feels more comfortable being dominant (that is, being in charge). Doms can also be … Continue reading

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